Communication, the Key to Life - Part 1

The Most Important Ingredient to a Successful Life

The single most important skill and ability anyone must have is communication.

Communication alone unlocks the door to ultimate life success and a stress-free environment.

Communication is so important and powerful, that a person’s entire life is determined by how well or how poorly the person communicates.

Individuals can be well educated and have high IQs. But if they don’t know how to communicate effectively, they will not achieve the life success and fulfillment they are capable of.

Communication is really the only tool an individual has when it comes to interacting with people. You can hammer out a building. Unfortunately, you cannot take any physical tools or means to force people to work with you on an agreeable and cooperative basis.

The only tool and skill you have to interact with, get along with, work with and manage people is communication.

If you want to have a happy, rewarding and successful life, or be an exceptional leader, or have a successful career, or raise kids to become terrific, successful and happy adults, then there is no choice but to become superb in the skill of communication.

Communication is far and away the most important and powerful skill, ability and tool to creating and living the life you want.

In the normal course of living, there are misunderstandings, disagreements, upsets, arguments, misinterpretations.

Why does it occur so often that a group of people aren’t all on the same page in a business or on a team?

Why do so many relationships go bad?

Why do over half of all marriages end in divorce?

Why is it sometimes difficult dealing with children?

Where are there upsets, arguments and fights between people?

Why aren’t tasks always completed exactly as intended, on time?

Why do so many people feel disrespected, neglected, unappreciated, betrayed so often in organizations and life?

Why is there so much misery, turmoil, sadness and failure in life?

Ideal communication resolves all of these conditions, situations and problems.

What, then, is ideal communication?

Ideal Communication is a free-flowing exchange of ideas, thoughts, intentions, goals, purposes, ideals, concepts and emotions, from one person to another, in such a way that each person fully understands the other’s information, point of view, ideas, goals, problems and intentions.

So the end result, the desired goal of communication, is that both parties see and understand exactly what the other has in mind and wants to communicate.

Ideal communication occurs when both parties exchange their points of view with the intention that each will understand the other.

The parties might or might not agree with each other. Person A doesn’t have to agree with Person B’s opinion in order to understand that opinion.

As long as each sees exactly what the other person is looking at, if each understands the other’s point of view and intentions, then eventually some sort of agreement will be reached. Then there will rarely be an argument or upset.

They don’t have to agree, they simply have to understand each other.

Following this definition as one communicates with others is the key to successful communication and living.

Let’s use a simple example to illustrate this definition of communication. Let’s say a woman wants to communicate what a cat is to someone.

The first action is that she must have a clear picture in her mind of what she wants the guy to see.

If her thinking is uncertain, or muddy, or vague, then the other person won’t ever see what she’s trying to communicate.

The first step in ideal communication is getting a clear, exact picture in mind that you want the other person to know about.

Once she is very clear in her mind, she then must communication well enough so that he sees in his mind what she sees.

Ideal Communication has occurred if he sees the exact cat she is thinking of, AND if he understands something about the nature of a cat.

If she communicates less than ideally but on just an acceptable but mediocre level, he might see a different cat - but is still getting the main point and idea.

While not ideal, the guy still gets the idea of a house cat.

If she fails to communicate effectively at all, he doesn’t get the idea of a cat at all. He gets the “wrong” idea.

Now a misunderstanding has occurred.

This example might appear to be too stupidly simple, and therefore not very valuable.

In fact, this is exactly what you should be doing with each and every communication - written and spoken, to one person or several. Ideal Communication IS as simple as this! No need to make it any more complicated.

Such Ideal Communication is easy to achieve with physical things, because you can show pictures and videos.

But what about concepts, ideas, emotions, desires, fears, goals, problems - things you don’t have pictures to show?

These take far more skill and ability to express to another so that other person sees and understands exactly what you think or feel. BUT THE DEFINITION AND DESIRED END RESULT OF IDEAL - AND HOW YOU ACHIEVE THAT - IS THE SAME AS FOR ANY PHYSICAL OBJECT!

Ideal Communication done well enough leads to what I call Power Communication.

Power Communication is effective and ideal communication that

• enables you to get almost anyone to see and understand your point of view, thoughts and emotions clearly and exactly

• enables you to resolve nearly any type of problem

• brings out your inner strength and capabilities

• makes you more confident, poised and assured in any situation, with any type of person and personality

• strengthens your ability to negotiate in any situation to a win-win

• gives you the confidence and ability to speak in front of any audience as needed.

Knowing and applying the definition of ideal communication above allows you to master Power Communication.

The Goal of Communication

What is your goal, your desired end result, the best outcome from each and every communication you are involved in?

The ultimate goal of communication is UNDERSTANDING between all parties involved.

The desired end result, the desired outcome of any communication, is that both/all parties understand exactly what the other is trying to communicate.

Ideal communication occurs when both/all parties freely exchange their points of view with the idea that each will understand the others.

Good things happen when there is high understanding.

Negative outcomes and consequences occur when there isn’t.

Understanding another person’s point of view doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with that point of view.

It just means understanding it.

If each person understands the other’s point of view, eventually some sort of agreement will be reached. There won’t be any unpleasant surprises or misunderstandings.

Part 2 of this series on Communication will show how to achieve understanding.